I Can't Stay Away
by kismet-wayfinder
Summary: AU oneshot. Rikai, Riku/Kairi. As far as Kairi's concerned, there's this one thing: when it comes to being with Riku or not being with Riku, well, she feels she really has no choice to begin with. He's her Riku.


_**Riku x Kairi | oneshot | Kairi's POV | romance**_

I Can't Stay Away

It was all an accident. Or maybe it was all serendipity. Probably, most likely, it started out being the former but together we made it turn out to be a case of the latter.

Fluttering my eyes to a close as I sit up in my bed now at some unknown late night hour, my head resting against the wall, I instantly recall our last encounter in our newfound, secret little alcove. It was only the night before last – the night I officially turned seventeen. Part of me knows my eternal soul will burn in some netherworld one day for feeling so, but I wouldn't have chosen to have celebrated the occasion with anyone other than you . . .

I know where my loyalties are meant to lie when it comes to you and Sora. We're all the best of friends. On that note, I am equally loyal to the both of you. But then when it comes to just Sora and I, it's a less clear line of boundaries. We can just share a look and know each other's thoughts at the drop of a hat. I feel like it's amazing. I also feel like it's unfair. If fate predesigned Sora and I for one another, then may the fates be damned for forcing my hand one way over the other in the matter.

I do love Sora. I love him in the way you love someone you never want to lose; you can't picture not having them in your life – not now, not ever. You'd search the ends of all the worlds to find them and make sure they're safe and sound – that's the way I feel about (and the way I love) Sora.

I do love you, too. You're the scary but exhilarating drop in my blood pressure when my head is way too high up in the clouds but you bring me back to earth. You're the electrical shock that courses through my veins when I'm alone and my mind wanders to thoughts that have to do with things like kisses or touches. You're the drop of ice cold rain against my skin in the middle of an otherwise completely warmth and serene sense of complacency, snapping me back to my senses. There's one other thing, too. When it comes to being with you or not being with you, well, there really _is _no choice.

When it comes to you, it feels like I just can't resist you. I just can't stay away.

Slowly opening my eyes I become acutely aware of the pain I've self-inflicted by way of chewing on my lower lip – a consequence of lingering on thoughts of you for too long this late at night. I give a stretch and then lie back on my bed, trying to get as comfortable as possible. A snarl of a hole in my goose feather pillow allows part of a feather to poke through, tickling my neck. As I hasten to flip the pillow over to its other side I can't help but laugh a little as I am reminded of how we came upon our accidental-slash-fortunate situation for the first time thirteen days ago.

We were just playing around, rough-housing a bit. Maybe we're too old for that kind of thing anymore, but we were bored out of our minds. Sora's been gone for quite a few months now. I know it's important. King Mickey called upon him for something he alone could attend to. I don't necessarily like it, but I do respect it. So we're left alone to our own devices. Really, Riku, it's not like I _knew_ that playfully pushing you toward the patch of moss-covered rock that evening would have sent you rolling backward into a hidden, previously uncharted little garden alcove. Adjusting on the bed as I roll over onto my side, I smile and then laugh a bit again, letting the memory replay itself again in my mind:

"_Riku - oh my gosh! Where'd you go to?"_

"_I'm in here, of course."_

"_Where's 'here'?"_

_From somewhere within an apparent indent amongst the mossy rock wall area a long sigh is emitted from a tall, strong-built seventeen and a half year old with long, silver colored hair. "I sure didn't know it was here, and I'm guessing _you_ weren't aware of it either, Kairi, but there's some tiny little cave in her behind this patch of moss."_

"_Seriously?" a thin-framed, long-legged girl with long red hair asks as she kneels down upon the ground, rocking forward onto her palms and knees to try to get some bizarre look through the moss she's just pushed her friend into._

"_Seriously," the boy answers her. "You'll never see it if you don't just come on inside, though."_

_A second later and the boy reaches his hand through the soft moss, beckoning the redhead to take hold of it. Hesitantly she does, and she soon gives an 'oomph!' sound as she is playfully jerked on into the alcove by the boy._

"_Riku!" she scolds him, landing awkwardly there within the space, her body toppling his over backwards. "Was that really necessary?"_

"_Oh, come on, Kairi – it's all in the name of fun, isn't it?" he answers, but by this point the blue-eyed redhead has adjusted her eyes to the dim light behind the moss and has managed to ascertain her exact position as she lies there, crashed into Riku._

_Kairi's face slowly but surely grows a deeper and deeper shade of red by the second as she glances downward to find her legs straddling Riku's waist as he lies there, propped back somewhat onto his back, not even looking remotely embarrassed or abashed about how they've wound up tangled together. In fact, Kairi then realizes, one of Riku's own arms has landed somewhat haphazardly around the small of her back. She also realizes that he isn't exactly hurrying to move it from there either._

"_What's the matter, Kairi?" he finally asks her, a devilish smirk on his face as he raises his eyebrows. "You look like you've come down with a sudden fever or something . . ."_

"_You're not funny, Riku," the girl replies in a serious tone, leaning back as she remains technically straddling him, though she crosses her arms over her chest and turns her head off to the side as if she's thoroughly unimpressed by his comment on her blood-rushed face._

"_Oh, I'm not?" he asks simply; a sudden movement and – surprise! – Kairi's face has fallen forward, her chin coming to rest against one of Riku's shoulders as his fingers tickle at her sides mercilessly, causing her to laugh uncontrollably. She says 'uncle! uncle!' several times, but he does not stop tickling her all the same. "Listen at you laugh! And you were trying to tell me I'm not funny . . ."_

"_Riku, st-stop – it tickles too much!" Kairi exclaims amidst her laughter._

"_No such thing," Riku replies dismissively, though he does slowly bring the tickling to a stop another moment later; though he's stopped, Kairi can still feel his fingertips lingering near her sides. There's a moment's silence and then: "Am I honestly bothering you or making you feel uncomfortable at all, Kairi?" he asks. "I mean, we can always just leave and go get an ice cream or something. I just –"_

"_No," Kairi says, leaning back again, though only so slightly, so that her face is hovering before his, their eyes meeting. "I . . . truth be told, this isn't surprising to me. I mean, this specific situation kind of is, but I've felt a little different around you for more than a few weeks now, Riku."_

_At first the aqua-eyed teenager isn't clear on how to take this. "Is it a good different or a bad different, Kairi?"_

"_It's a strange different – a _good _strange different," the fair-skinned princess clarifies, before adding in a small sort of voice, "Er . . . how about you, Riku?"_

_His blue-green eyes blinking in surprise, he replies rather awkwardly, "How about me what, Kairi?"_

"_Well . . . like I said, I've felt like I've had stronger than usual feelings for you for more than a few weeks now . . . what about you?" Tentatively she asks him this again and then, just as tentatively, she awaits his answer; she finds she doesn't have to wait long to hear it._

"_Honestly, Kairi?" Riku says to her, looking her right in the eye. "For me, it's been more like a few years now."_

_Kairi grows quite wide-eyed. If she was flush-faced before, she hated to think of precisely what shade of ripened tomato she's turned now. Evidently it must be a nice, bright one though, because she now glances back up to find Riku poorly attempting to stifle a laugh. "Hey now!" she says, half-angry about it._

"_Hey nothing," he says to her coolly, reaching a hand forward to run his fingers through her hair that has fallen forward. "Has no one ever told you how adorable you are when you act like this?"_

"_Adorable?" Kairi repeats back, before pursing her lips for a second and then speaking again, saying, "I'm not being adorable, I'm being embarrassed, and –"_

_Emitting a teensy little sound of surprise as she suddenly finds Riku's lips being pressed against her own, Kairi gives herself a few seconds to get used to the idea and then she slowly begins to return the kiss; shortly thereafter, Riku breaks away to say, ". . . and now you're being kissed. Problem solved." Before Kairi can attempt to object to his little remark, his lips are back upon hers once more, kissing her even harder, one of his hands playing with her hair while the other traces circles round and about through the fabric of her dress on her lower back._

_. . . _

_Moments later and Riku is lying as flat out on his back as is possible within the little space. Kairi's body is almost flush against his, and their lips are still working together, desperately, wanting more, more, more, as if one of them expects the other to simply disappear at any given second and not appear again for a millennia and a half. Indeed, it's Kairi's fingers that are now running through Riku's long, smooth hair, while his hands rub and massage at the sides of her hips through her dress._

_Finally breaking away from each other, the both of them needing to better catch their breaths; they only half-heartedly attempt to do so before switching positions. Soon Kairi is the one on her back, her chin tilted upward slightly as Riku plants a trail of hot, electric kisses straight down her throat, one after another after another –_

"_Miss Kairi! Miss Kairi, are you anywhere around here? It's time to come home for dinnertime now!" _

_Feeling completely caught off guard and a little panic-stricken at the thought of being caught by her adoptive father's maid servant in the position she's in, doing what she's doing, Kairi stares up at Riku with frightened eyes. "Shh," he says to her as the maid servant calls her name aloud again. "Listen, you crawl out from here and tell her you were just exploring around. I'll wait until you're both good and long gone before I sneak away myself to go home."_

"_Okay," Kairi agrees in a whisper, while untangling herself from Riku there on the alcove floor. "Just one question before I go . . ."_

"_Yeah, Kairi?"_

"_Was this like, just some random thing we did just now? I mean, I know it wasn't planned, but will we ever; I mean –"_

"_Miss Kairi!" the maid calls again, this time even more loudly._

_Watching as the girl before him sighs and drops her gaze toward the ground, Riku reaches forward and places a finger beneath Kairi's chin, tilting her face back upward so he can look her in the eye. "I wasn't just, so to speak, messing around with you just now, no. I did those things with you for the same reasons you did them with me. And I'll do them again and again - only with you - as long as you want me to, Kairi. You do know that, don't you?"_

_Smiling faintly, Kairi leans forward and plants a kiss on Riku's lips and then another on his forehead, before she whispers into his ear, "Yes, I do know that." She then leaves the secret hideaway and shows herself to the maid servant, much to said woman's relief. _

"_I was beginning to think you were clear on the other side of the island, Kairi!" She had started to scold her as the pair of them began walking away; Kairi herself was only half-listening to the rant, though, if even that much. Her mind was still hotly on other, far more fascinating happenings in her life._

Giving a bit of a half-moan, half-yawn as she snuggles deeper beneath her blankets in her bed on this present night, Kairi feels much happier after recounting her first time encounter with her newfound love in the little rock wall grotto once again to herself. Since that first evening, they'd met up and explored each other more and more – though not entirely yet – a total of nine times. If they were able to keep their agreed upon date, the very next day would culminate with their tenth date together, as informal but insatiably amazing as anyone could imagine a date to be, all happening there in that little alcove.

Riku still on her mind as she rolls over onto her other side, now buried deep in the blankets of the bed, Kairi murmurs aloud to herself, "No - I did those things with you for the same reasons you did them with me . . ." and she smiles. She's only done what she's done with Riku out of love - this she knows quite certainly and, quite clearly, Riku has already stated the same back to her in his own way.

"Loves me? Loves me _not_?" she teases herself in a half-asleep voice, before shaking her head and murmuring one last thing aloud before beginning to drift off to sleep at long last, "It was serendipity because . . . _h__e l__oves me_."


End file.
